Chemicals
by SidhePrincessAislinn
Summary: A drabblefic centered around Urahara and Yoruichi. Future UraYoru.
1. Chemicals

This is nothing more than a short drabble. I love Urahara and Yoruichi, they are my favorite character and my favorite couple. Oh this is based on the theory that Urahara is Irish and Yoruichi is Indian (Hindi). 

Title: Chemicals

Pairing/Characters:Urahara, Yoruichi

Warnings:drinking

Yoruichi peered down on the shelf; she spotted the object of her quest pushed behind a few other bottles. Grabbing it and tossing it into the basket with the other things she has acquired for Urahara, Yoruichi thought back on how it came that she was in a touristy section of Tokyo.

She was watching the "Chemistry of a Car Bomb" trying to understand all the complex words but failed miserably, science just was not her thing, so she asked Urahara what a car bomb was. He had looked at her for a while than a goofy smiled came over his features. He quickly wrote out a list and sent her on her way to retrieve the items, telling her to go to a tourist section of Tokyo and that this a "chemical experiment." As Yoruichi picked up a bottle full of green liquid to go with the brown ones, she was beginning to wonder what type of "chemicals" Urahara was talking about. Shrugging she went to the counter and paid for her purchases.

It was a little after 9:00 PM when she got back to Urahara Shoten. Jinta and Ururu were already in bed and for some odd reason Tessai was too. Urahara was sitting at the table in front of the TV watching the evening News. She set the bag in front of him and waited for him to acknowledge her present. Perking up Urahara bound off the floor and into the kitchen to retrieve some glasses calling after her as he got his items.

"Yoruichi-san I'm so happy your back, you'll really enjoy this car-bomb its right up your alley."

Setting a cold glass on the table with a smaller one, Urahara grabbed a can from the six-pack of Guinness and poured into the glass, after he grabbed the Jameson Whiskey and Bailey's Irish cream and pour them into the shot glass. Yoruichi eyed him the hole time wondering what he was going to do with the green liguid and how these alcohols made a car-bomb; she swore they were actually made out of plastic materials. Urahara then dropped the shot glass into the beer mug picking it up and downing it before it made a foamy mess all over the table and the milk in the Bailey's curdled. Laughing he looked at Yoruichi's face and said:

"That Yoruichi-san is an Irish car-bomb, Guinness, Jameson Whiskey, and Bailey's Irish cream."

It took a moment for Yoruichi to recover, than she threw the brown bag they were in at him and a groaned.

"Kisuke you Irish drunk I can't believe you did that! What the fuck is the green bottle, Absinthe?" "My Yoruichi-san you know me too well."

He replied recovering from her first onslaught, hoping that would be the last and she would join him for a few drinks. Smirking, Yoruichi sat across from him. "Alright the first one to past out because of "chemical" poisoning gets to explain sex to Kurosaki-san." Laughing and nodding his head, Urahara filled her shot glass.

The next morning, Urahara Kisuke looked at his young protégé with a serious face.

"You see Kurosaki-san when two people meet…

Sub Rosa

finis. Hope y'all like.


	2. Sick Kitty

I wrote this after I spent all day cleaning up my cat Bellum's hair balls, thankfully Miles wasn't sick today. T.T() kitty-kats are so gross sometimes, but I love them! And thanks to everyone that reviewed, I really appreciate it!

Title: Sick Kitty

Pairing/characters: Yoruichi, Urahara

Warnings: Swearing and puking.

Urahara grimaced as he looked down the foot of his bed. He did not know that real milk, even in a saucer amount, was bad for a cat. Yoruichi laid stretched out on the foot of him bed, eyes closed trying to sun her little kitty body. She looked so peaceful and innocent, not the puking cat she had been a few moments ago. He swore she did this on purpose, making herself sick all over his room just so he would have to clean it up because HE was the one that gave her milk. She was not a house cat, she could get off her furry ass and clean it herself. He made a slight coughing noise to draw her attention to him, away from her reverie.

Yoruichi knew the moment he walked into the room, but pretend to sleep, seeing as it would annoy him to have to clean all by his lonesome. Slightly cracking an eye open, she continued with her farce to her own amusement. She tilled her head towards him, trying her damnedest to still look sick.

"Ne, Urahara-san, I'm oh so sorry about your cash register, I wonder if you'll still be able to open it?" Her masculine voice growled out.

Urahara did not look amused for a few moments before an idea came to him and broughta smile upon his face, making Yoruichi nerves.

"Oh poor Yoruichi-san being all sick, it must be awful!"

He brought his fan to his face, acting remorseful. Yoruichi just eyed him.

"A poor sick kitty like you, puking all over my shop and on my personal belongs, should be helped, humm, but where can a sweet kitty like you get help for your little tummy?"

Urahara pretended to muse while the realization dawned on Yoruichi, if only she had noticed the cat carrier before he had her trapped on the bed. A sadistic smile came over Urahara's face.

"Oh I know the VET!"

Yoruichi screeched bounding up from the bed and making a mad dash to the window, she knew he would, fuck he probably made an appointment the moment she puked on his computer. But it was too late, his large hands came down grabbing her quickly as she squirmed and clawed making it as hard for him as possible. The carrier got closer and closer…

Yoruichi could not believe this humiliation. Not only did she have to listen to him sing "Don't Fear the Reaper" on the way to the vet, she was now laying on the cold hard table in the little claustrophobic room, with him now tipping the song out with his cane. She looked over at him.

"If that vet sticks a thermometer up my ass…"

Finis


	3. Drunk

Title: Drunk 

Pairing/Characters:Urahara/Yoruichi

Warnings:drinking, mention of nudity

Author's Comment: I came up with this after spending last weekend completely drunk and hungover on monday. College is a wonderful thing.

Yoruichi glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. It was about 7:00 in the morning and the retching sound that woke her up finally stopped. She and Kisuke had been out drinking the night before and, well, he had a little too much. Yoruichi guess it was probably around four o'clock when Kisuke's handle of vodka finally caught up with him. Yoruichi stretched her arms out in front of her and turning on her back. It was nice to finally have to bed to herself, but she always hated listening to him get sick. She would have been in there comforting him, rubbing his back and holding his hair back, but the last time she attempted he threw her out of the bathroom. It was best to wait until he was quite, before she brought in the glass of water and helped him out of the bathroom. Sighing Yoruichi sat up.

In the past everyone questioned how Kisuke could be so cheerful and alert after an all night drinking binge with Ukitate and the others in their class. The rumor was that he was too smart, too wily to catch one. The truth was she was the one whom nursed him and got him on his feet, being the good "friend." There were many different times when getting to an officer's meeting seemed impossible, but she was able to get both of them there.

Rolling on to her side, she glanced for a piece of clothing to wear, finding a t-shirt and some panties, Yoruichi dressed and headed to the adjoined bathroom. Opening the door slowly she found Kisuke were she expected too. His head was pressed to the cool tiles on the wall; the bathtub propped him up. He looked so weak. Yoruichi hated and loved these mornings. For once Kisuke was not the smiling, conniving asshole he normally was, but a real person that could get sick and hated being looked after. She went to the sink and poured him a glass of water, knowing that it would help with the headache. Kisuke took it gratefully. Gulping down the water, he looked up at Yoruichi. She stood there with her arms crossed under her chest (she was not small enough to cross them in front he mused), wearing his t-shirt and some panties. Finally beginning to feel better he smiled lightly at her, aware that he was only wearing boxers.

"You know Yoruichi we should really stop meeting like this in the morning."

She rolled her eyes and offered him a helping hand.

_Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated recently. I work alot and I'm heading back to college soon, so I'm saying good bye to my friends here at home, plus I'll be taking a trip to Texas ( god help me Bush's home state) to visit a friend. I'll be able to update once I'm back at school and classes have started. Sorry about that._


	4. Samantha Thavasa

Title: Samantha Thavasa

Pairing/Characters:Urahara/Yoruichi

Warnings: Swearing, and the purchase of an extremely cute purse.

Urahara frowned at the store in front of him. He really did not want to do this, but with Yoruichi's birthday coming up soon and she had been gushing about this for a while now. Sighing and resigning to his fate, Urahara walked into the store. He felt very awkward. He was the only guy and the only one in jeans and a T-shirt. At least he took Kurosaki-san advice on that aspect of shopping. Glancing around he looked for his target, the one thing Yoruichi want, the one thing she actually purred over. Walking up the aisle he could not find what she wanted. He had seen a picture of it at least a billion times, and yet he did not see it. He was in the right store, right? Deciding to make one of the sales clerk pay attention to him and help him find the desired item, Urahara tapped on counter until he got some service. A young woman walked up to him, smiling.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?" She asked kindly refraining from grabbing his fingers and throwing him out of the store. Urahara smiled that sardonic smile of his and proceeded to tell exactly what he was looking for and she, of course, went to get it.

As Urahara looked down at the register displaying how much money he owed, he cringed and handed the smiling woman his credit card. He tried to ignore the price tag of ¥53,500.00. How the hell could a person spend that much money on a purse, a stupid fucking purse? Oh, but it was Samantha Thavasa Star purse, designed by Nicky Hilton. Who the fuck was Nicky Hilton and why did Yoruichi care? Urahara smiled at the girl as she handed him the shopping bag and his receipt. Urahara was in a daze, did he actually spend that amount of money on a purse for Yoruichi? Walking down the streets of Ikebukuro towards the train station, he realized that yes the sex most be that good.

finis

_Author's Note: I got this idea after looking at my coach bag. I figured Yoruichi as a person that is normally practical about most things, but she has that one thing that she would spend alot of money on. Why purses, because its my obession and I can't relate to anything else, plus I don't know who the Gucci is in Japan, but I do know who the Louis Vuitton is, Samantha Thavasa. The bag he buys is a White Star bag. They are really cute. oh and the price is about $500.00 American Dollars. _


	5. Laundry

Title: Laundry 

Pairing/Characters:Urahara/Yoruichi

Warnings: Nothing really.

Legal Stuff: I do not own Bleach, Tite Kubo does.

Other: Thanks to everyone that has reviewed!

Yoruichi hated doing laundry. There was not a reason why or a rational explanation, she just hated doing laundry, yet here she was. Sighing, Yoruichi continued to sort through the pile of clothing, separating the white, darks, and lights from each other. She could not help but to muse how many clothes Kisuke and she actually had. Still she understood in some way as to why she was doing this chore. She was now living at the Urahara Shouten so she had to help out in some way. She had hoped that would mean working in the shop or dealing with Kisuke's creditors or loan officers, anything other than domestic chores. Just because she was a domestic cat does not mean she wants to be domestic. Sitting on the edge of the mattress Yoruichi looked at the piles around her. Wondering how it came to this.

She had been traveling all this time, exploring the earth. She visited places she had been when she was alive and dead. Looking back on ruins that were beautiful and whole when she had been around. She visited Ireland to try and understand where Kisuke came from. America was vast and always on the move. St. Thomas and the rest of the Caribbean were relaxed and peaceful. Mexico was vibrant with color. England reminded her of Ukitate-san for some reason. Seoul and Hong Kong were more exciting than Tokyo. She spent year after year just traveling. Yet now she was in Karakura cooking and cleaning like a wife.

Looking at the sheets, Yoruichi knew she had to get them in the wash soon or She would need to go out and buy some more. When they were younger, Kisuke and she did not understand that yes, even white sheets, could still be stained and need to be washed after rigorous nights. Grabbing the pile of sheet she pushed her way out of the room only to stop as Ururu and Jinta ran through the hall either trying to escape each other or Tessai. Continuing once the children where out of the way, she made it to the laundry room without anymore hassle. Loading the first batch of laundry into the washing machine, she did not notice as Kisuke walked in behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He bent down and kissed her neck, than rested his head on her shoulder, smiling.

"Arigatou! Yoruichi-chan, for doing the laundry. I know how much you hate it."

With that Kisuke took off and head back to the shop. Yoruichi's eyes were wide as she stared at the wall in front of her. Well maybe being domesticated was not so bad after all.


End file.
